FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER

5 GOLDEN RULES..

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." We all have a vision, although many of us may not realize that we do.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on Love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner. I found this useful article, which I kept for future references.I am not married yet ,so its time to do some reshearch hehe oopps..Just to share!!

QUESTION 1:
* Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?

Put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 yrs, that's a long time to live with someone.
What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart.

50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life bottom line-and marry someone who Wants the same thing.
Vision is also important in committed partnerships because studies have shown that 67% of all marital arguments occur because one or both partners are experiencing frustration in achieving their vision in life.

QUESTION 2:
* Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e.trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3:
* Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test?

Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing." So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth, and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4:
* How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you--who can't do nearly as much for them!

QUESTION 5:
* Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

Life is meant to be an adventure. Joy is not just an illusive dream but instead is a concrete and important sign that we are on the right track in life. Joy is worth pursuing, embracing and sharing and vision is the means.