My sweetest downfall
I can honestly say I wouldn’t honestly know. The time , the back and forth, and then ‘she were first’ precedence tugs my heart in one direction.she is very special, a cute girl that makes my whole world go around.I just thought it was love. That’s why I flew into a blind panic, that’s why my hands would shake & i am in fear whenever meet her.It was a time last year & 9 month was gone now.In a place and time in life when I embrace the thrill and attention of contact, interest, to hear familiar, fond sweet voices. I still have the odd rush weird stomach feeling & the rest of the world behind me, there’s no turning back for me that time.8 months later, who would have thought I’d be seeing her again. I do not have to love you, but I do. Someone who make me as happy, and I’ll have this to thank mastermind for getting me as far this.But suddently..slipped out from under me quietly; my discovery confusing, slow, hard to grasp. My constant, silent refrain of ‘why this to me?’ wore on and on, and thin, even to my own ears, but I came up with an answer for myself. ...So_What_if_Shes_Older_than_Me..hmm i move on...
She allowed me at the door & to enter. I’ve privately debated on how I’ve managed to make it in, especially recently, and the more my patience unravels. I moved on.. That’s progress, eh?
I still enjoy the fringe benefits, longing smiles, animated conversation and laughter,"u nO ONE DAY i teng my jiran ada banyak burung dalam sarang,i tunggu untuk my jiran semua orang keluar rumah i buka kan sarang itu"hahaha I am still laughing about it..."notyy allz perli me" haha i always perli her...hmmm"Can you do cake for me? Well, I can wait for it"!!!"no more..I can’t even not mention to phone call, per request.She loves to sleep aswell..hahah ,6.30 early morning in temple..haha never before in my life.when i teman her till her car ,I know all the speeches but won’t get the words to come out how I plan that moment, Anyway i want to hear her sweet voice.so let her do speeches...hahaha. So many good memories in such a short time.
"I waited for you patiently".This is what I loved the most about her, the things i have done. Today I have to remember, I have to miss, I have to sigh.I thought i found that one person that wants to spend the rest of her life with me.Someone that will stick around when the times get tough and not run away.She may never know how important she were to me or how much I care for her, but she are and she will always be. Bear in mind that I couldnt afford to lose someone I've learned to care about so much.
I had the answer...i have been trying to get over it personally for 9 months...I thought marriage is all about sharing & understanding each other but hei we are in 21st Century and people still give a consideration to the (non) fact that not possible to marry someone who seems incompatible on paper.Yes i find this very sad.people say you deserve better, let it go, move on, but how? i like i expect you, cant just do that. it is not the end of the world, but it hurts."NOTY school boy" would i hear this word again....
I come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see person, perfectly. That’s what I’m told anyway. Clearly, I’m still no whare nearer of it.
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